Language connects us to other people. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond we have with someone we care about. We use electronic means to touch one another throughout the day with our cell phone and texting, Facebook and Twitter. Language helps us to connect; express affection. When we are physically with another person who we love- we show affection to them with smiles, touches, hugs, kisses and verbal communication. We reinforce the nature of our affection by saying, “I love you” or “You are my closest friend.”, “You’re my best pal!” “I like you a lot.” “I don’t know what I would do without you.” We make expressions like this to show how close we feel to others.
Research has found that the more affection spouses communicated to one another during the first two years of marriage, the more likely they were to remain married 13 years later. Given the current divorce rate of 50% or more for first and second marriages, this is a good thing to know. There are also several health benefits from expressing and receiving affection besides increasing endorphin levels that make us feel happy and positive; lowering stress hormones, better cardiovascular health, lower cholesterol, improved ability to recover from stress, lower average blood sugar (a risk factor for diabetes) better mental health, and less risk of developing clinical depression and anxiety (Floyd, 2010).
And let’s not underestimate “comfort”. There are many times when a few caring words, a touch or a sympathetic look, gives us strength. We can soothe a child, offer support to someone suffering emotionally or physically, give aid to someone in severe distress. We send cards to others including electronically to extend messages of comfort. How many times a day do we get e-mail of something funny to brighten our day, or photos of adorable animals to make us smile, or hysterical photos of life around the world with captions that clever individuals think up attached?
Language is used to share social information. Facebook allows us to have little peeks into the lives of others. It also eliminates having to send an e-mail or make a phone call just to check in and see what is going on (something multi-taskers and those among us with perceived limited time like). On Facebook we don’t even have to comment, we can just click the word "Like". It sends a message, without having to actually say anything more than show some approval. We can share secrets and support one another with Instant Messaging.
We use language to convey meaning and being stoic or the silent type and the words we choose to use, does have a downside, but I’ll save that for another post. For today the thought is that giving a little affection verbally, non-verbally or electronically can really brighten someone’s day, express closeness, or just to let someone know you are thinking about them and that you care.
