There are moments all thought life when we have a quiet space to philosophize or review what we currently are all about and insight comes to us. We might be taking a long walk, sitting on a patio looking out over nature, reclining in a hammock or gazing out a window. Knowledge may come to us in a flash, as one line of words, because something happened or while remembering something, but bottom line, it means something to us personally and if we can, we try to take a look at why. The clarity that comes with this conscious and sometimes subconscious observing and speculation has the potential to create change for us. This might even happen when someone suggests something, or we dream an idea.
Some time ago I realized that what I did most in my life and what I had become quite good at, was talking about communication between partners, couples, colleagues and friends. Instead of branding myself as just a Life & Wellness Coach for example, I’ve added “with a specialization in Relationship Communication”. Advertising my skills more precisely enables me to do not only what I do best, but what I enjoy doing and what benefits the individuals whose lives I come in contact with, more effectively.
In my family communication classes or approved CE’s for professionals I also add the benefits of recognizing and adding to one’s own identity with genealogical activities and projects. Clear understanding of self-esteem and self-worth, perspective and interpretation and the potential perils of other forms of technological exchanges are crucial areas of discovery and add to the development of character. Learning skills in both verbal and nonverbal communication for working with colleagues and acquaintances becomes a marked difference in business successes or lack thereof. In my new book, Adultery is Universal; But I’m getting Married Anyway; What to Know Before You Do or Already Have, the techniques of communication that assist married couples or partners or individuals dating, whether an affair is involved or not, open doors to a deeper, more connected, committed understanding between a couple.
Learning to listen attentively, give others respect, (even though you may disagree heartedly with their viewpoint), takes practice. Often we forget to praise or validate the thinking of the other, before we offer our differing opinion. Forgetting to do that discounts the other person’s opinion and may even unintentionally diminish self-esteem. (Parents often unknowingly do this with their children also). This also results in intensified discussion, which for some is fun and stimulating, but for others is tension creating or results in anger, hurt feelings, and distrust.
Harmony can be achieved with a little more clarity on how we interact with one another and views can be expressed, but there are still so many other aspects that need to be considered such as needs, rewards, motivation and purpose, emotions, the physical setting, the framework of the communication, gender differences and attitude to name a few.
Workshops, classes, CE’s for professionals, reading and couple coaching are all ways to enhance these skills. If this interests you, additional topics can be found on my other blogs too. Happy reading.
